i couldve just said no

 normally i wouldve just say no. but why am i at recent conversation with my aunt i just snapped like that. well the way i snapped it's not what you thinking and it's not the kind of snapped that i usually do. i just throwing my phone at table. and there is no damage on it. but the sound certainly shocked my co worker. she asked what happened? and i -already forget my answer- kind of answer it with "i'm pissed". why? she said. i answered because someone need my help. and who is it? my aunt. then my coworker saying something like, just say no. and i realized. why dont i done that?

but first let me tell you the context. at first, my aunt telling me that she have to printed out her work. since its too much, i tell her that im gonna do it at home. because im in office rn and i think its not ethical to printed out that many. okay, next thing she do was complaining my laptop. she texted me. she's saying that the laptop having some kind of seizure. and didnt work correctly. which is suspicious. because i done repaired that laptop. yes the keyboard has issue but i already changed it a few months ago. well i dont really care about that text. and i some kind of ignore it. but! shes calling an hours later. saying the same thing which is i dont care. and you know what happen next. she telling me that need my help. without saying my consent. not taking consideration what am i going to do after work. not asking am i okay or not. she's just you know what im gonna go into your home when you done with your work. so that you i can finish her work. a work that should be done by her.

uuuh i snapped. thinking my own needs need that havent done. but i have to do others works? are you crazy? no. im not gonna do that. so then i threw my phone and let her hanging for few second. and then she hanging up the phone.

but.

the way i acted, i couldve just said no. i couldve just said im sorry but you need someone else because i cant. but the emotion got me overwhelmed. i just i cant.